Why Your Third Decade Could Be Your Best Years Yet
Most beautiful things take time, cultivation, and patience. We aren't exceptions to this rule! A few years back, I was in my mid-twenties and was gifted a book called The Defining Decade. It changed my life. I was in a space where I was hungry for change, feeling expectant about things to come, and eager to consume information that would support me and my crew (all twenty-something, HUNGRY, savvy Black people who are delightfully petty but also believe in prayer LOL). While working as a Leadership Trainer at a company I adored, I found myself growing by leaps and bounds as I helped other people better their lives, and just knew that I could do "more", "better", and live life with more joy.
From the outside, I had the "traditional" trajectory. I'll share more of my story as we go, but suffice it to say that my twenties were a whirlwind. Ups and downs that included, for the most part, trying to reconcile my own desires with the expectations of others. I graduated from college and was in utter confusion about what the entire hell should come next. I vividly remember returning to my parents' home after graduation, opening a congratulatory card and having a meltdown at the message which read "This was just a stepping stone. We cannot wait to see what you do next!".
I was mortified, and upset that apparently no one had the foresight to understand that my earning a college degree would leave me without a plan for the future. Like all "90s kids", I had spent my entire life dreaming about what I wanted to be "when I grew up". I watched cribs and read travel mags so thought that by 25 years old, a person should have amassed enough wealth to travel luxuriously, purchase a condo and a wardrobe fit for a queen. I should be happy! Living a life like any woman off the cast of Girlfriends except for Lyn, and able to say "I made it." Instead, here I sat in my childhood bedroom, thousands of dollars in debt, with a diploma that supposedly gave me license to BE in the world, and no knowledge at all of the best path forward.
So I spent the next years uncovering my own voice. I had to (and still work daily to) distill out my own personhood from all the voices echoing in my head about who I was and what it all was supposed to mean. Nine years into my 20s, I don't know it all but I know some things for sure. Here are a few: We write our own story, we define our own path, and the third decade is as good a milestone as any to begin living the life you deserve.
So let's plan for it. The journey begins today.
Getting what we want, in its beautiful, messy complexity, is a journey, not a destination. This blog will be dedicated to that journey. Mine and yours. I'm still learning and will be curating a space where Black women, in all our magical realness, can be authentic. Laugh, cry, and share as we (figuratively) get naked. We can learn so much from each other.
If you're reading this post, you belong here and deserve all of the time it takes to accomplish your dream self. Subscribe and come back often to see what's new--I'll be posting interviews, blog posts, podcasts and more to help us all get our collective lives together, chile.
So tell me--how has your journey through your twenties and/or into your thirties looking? What's going well? What's not?